When grief hits close to home.

How to support yourself and others who are grieving.

August has arrived with longer days, warm evenings, and so many reminders that life is continuing all around us. And yet, grief doesn’t always follow the seasons. It can find us in the middle of a beautiful summer day, sometimes when we least expect it.

Recently, someone I love passed away, and I found myself experiencing grief in a very personal way while also supporting a dear friend who was grieving the loss of her father. Being on both sides of grief at the same time reminded me that grief is something we all experience, but it can look so different from one person to the next.

It also reminded me of something I often share with the older adults and caregivers I work with: grief isn’t limited to the loss of a person. We can grieve changes in our health, our roles, our independence, our relationships, and the life we once imagined.

This month, I want to offer a little support for both sides of grief—for those who are grieving, and for those who are walking alongside someone they love. Because sometimes we need support learning how to carry our own grief, and sometimes we simply need to know how to be there for someone else.

If You Are Grieving

Grief is not something to “get over.” It’s something we learn to carry and over time, carry differently.

A few reminders:

• There is no timeline. However you are feeling is valid, even if others expect you to be “further along.”

• Grief comes in waves. Some days may feel manageable, others surprisingly heavy. Both are normal.

• You may miss not just the person, but the life, routines, or identity connected to them.

What can help:

• Create small rituals of remembrance (lighting a candle, looking at photos, or visiting a meaningful place)

• Stay connected, even in small ways (a phone call, a short visit, or simply being around others)

• Give yourself permission to feel moments of joy without guilt

• Take care of your body (rest, nourishment, and gentle movement matter more than you think)

If your grief feels overwhelming or isolating, you don’t have to carry it alone. Support can make a meaningful difference.

If Someone You Love Is Grieving

It’s natural to want to say the “right” thing, but what matters most is simply being present.

What truly helps:

• Show up consistently- grief doesn’t end after the funeral

• Say their loved one’s name — it acknowledges their loss in a real way

• Offer specific help (“Can I bring you dinner on Thursday?”) rather than general offers

• Listen more than you speak — you don’t need to fix it

What to be mindful of:

• Avoid rushing them to “move on” or “stay positive”

• Try not to compare their grief to your own experiences

• Don’t disappear if you’re unsure what to say — your presence matters more than perfect words

Sometimes the most powerful support is sitting beside someone in their pain and letting them know they are not alone.

Grief is a reflection of love and love doesn’t end. It changes shape.

If this season feels heavy for you, or for someone you care about, I’m here to help. At Roseville Elder Services, I specialize in supporting older adults and caregivers through life’s most difficult transitions with compassion, clarity, and practical tools.

If you'd like to learn more or schedule a complimentary 15-minute consultation, I'd be honored to connect with you.